The first is from Nathan, back in 2007, when he was known as Kelsey (I cut out the praise on my body image because most of those insecurities have been cleared up by now!):
"...Now for the best part of the show, that I believe Amanda hates most about herself. Her personality. She doesn't like that people always describe her as a nice, writing person. I know that she knows that that isn't all she is, she is so much more than nice and writing. Admittedly, there are bad things, but that makes up Amanda and so they become good things. You don't say to autistic people that their autism is a bad point, do you? I think I just made a bad implication again. She is in no way autistic (and I'm not saying it's a bad thing). Though, she most definitely has ADD.
So on with the show, Amanda puts on a happy face and it seems to me that she does get happy when some people are around, as their happiness is contagious. Maybe even just thinking about being happy is cheering, but that might also be depressing. She does get very anxious, and a lot of the time, I think. I think she wants to talk to people she knows that she can trust when this happens, just to let it all out. Who doesn't? But, Amanda does need to. Out of all the people I know, Amanda has the most troubles in her life. It isn't very fair, and I don't think that I can go in to details because she would want to keep most of that stuff between herself and the people that she has told. Besides, as I said, there's a lot. I've gone off-track, is this her personality? It's something that effects her.
So where was I about what she's like? Happy face. I'm sorry to say this, Ama, but she is nice. She may not want to be, but somehow she always is. To some people she may not be nice, but she seems to get along with everyone. Except that one guy.... But apparently that's getting better (though not by much). And yes, she is an amazing writer/poet--at least to my standards. I don't know if mine are good or not, but I don't care whether some people say she's bad. I think it's amazing what she writes, it makes me want to write when I read one of her stories. Even some of her LJ posts makes me want to write something amazing (of course I can't...).
When Amanda is in a good mood, and when I actually get to talk to her (i.e. when not many other people are around to steal her) she has a great sense of humour. She actually gave me my dirty mind (thank you, Amanda!). We laugh at pretty much everything, even some things that aren't really that funny. I enjoy spending time with Amanda, even when she isn't feeling chipper--though I don't really know how to deal with it phsyically. I try to form the words that I hope will help her, but I don't think I really can. But that's me, not Amanda. Really, truly, honestly, if I could choose who to be with for a day, Amanda would be my second choice. Or maybe she would be my first.... I think that I would have a long and hard debate about it, and then the day would be over.
But someday I would hang out with her... yes.... >_>
In bad moods, which can be butchered into two categories (that has gory in it....) of morose and irate. Yes, not-so-big big words.
Ok, I think you know how she can be. She gets pissed off at her many problems, and... I don't know, this is one of those things I can't describe. It's far to expansive to explain. She's so much more than a nice writer, more than someone can really explain. And no, Amanda, that is not some excuse to get out of this. See, I've already written eight paragraphs (excluding the one liners)... actually, the first one shouldn't count. Seven paragraphs about you.
I was totally into this before I had to have dinner.... Holy crap, like her as we know her! HOW could I leave this out?
Amanda is SO passionate, sometimes it is a bit too much, but it's completely awesome! It may not be the best thing to have your life because of your friends and emotions, but that's a better place to have your life than, I don't know, BOOKS. It's a human attatchment, and I don't think that many people have that in them. She loves all of the people she conciders friends, and she has told us so many times. She cares about us, it's really amazing! You may not think it is, just reading this, but it's such a great feeling that she talks about it's.... Since this is for Amanda, I'm sure I don't need to describe how much you love us because you know it. I hope it hasn't changed.
Poop, I got distracted and I don't know what I'm talking about anymore! Obviously Amanda, but I can't remember what I was thinking about.... I'm getting way too distracted , I've been writing about something that I have to remember about for too long. I'm sorry, Amanda. I can't describe real people and you know that. This is better than I've ever done for anything--one. You know....
So.... Please give it a chance."
This second, and final one is from Damian, tonight. I'll just assume he wouldn't mind me posting this in my Livejournal! I should really print these both out and put them in a scrapbook or my diary!
I really cannot believe that our friendship has lasted this long, despite everything. I'm really glad it has since you've become one of my biggest supporters and people I know I can always turn to if I need advice or help.
You are incredibly nice to me and I have always felt calm when I'm with you; I feel like I can share absolutely anything with you. That's something incredibly rare so you must be doing something right! :P
I know we're both going through incredibly tough times right now,but we'll both get through it if we have some patience and we believe. Supporting each other will help us get through it and make it easier.
I love how quirky and unique you are. Walking into your room for the first time a few weeks ago opened up a door for me into your mind, sort of, and I realized just how neat a person you really were. Never change! I like you just the way you are!"
Interesting how they both come from men, in the end. I can distrust the gender of men all I want, but they never fail to surprise me.