You know you have PTSD when hours after waking up you’re still wondering if it was a dream or reality.
You knew it wouldn’t be easy but you never could imagine it would be this hard…
Aside from the fireworks associated with the 4th of July, April Fools day is your second least favorite holiday so you just lock yourself up in a room with no contact to the outside world so someone’s stupid prank doesn’t cause you to have a panic attack.
"The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind." You know you have PTSD when you long for the day when this is possible.
…you keep reading and listening to so many people telling you what you should care about and how much of a monster you are for not caring, but you just don’t have enough energy to feel much of anything.
Your entire life can be interrupted by a brief glance at something random that takes you back to that moment.
It’s three days later and you STILL can’t remember that perfect idea you had for a tumblr post..
You actually are excited for therapy just so you can have someone to listen and not say “get over it”
You wake up and have the BEST idea for a tumblr post and by the time you make it to the computer, you forgot what the hell it was…
You set the parental control on your TV to “E” so you don’t accidently see something that will throw you into a panic attack or flashback.
You may forget your name, your birthday, what you’re supposed to do today, or what you had for breakfast - but you will NEVER forget the anniversary of your trauma.
It’s Monday and you thought yesterday was Monday and realize that a whole week went by and you didn’t remember a damn thing.
You continuously check your driver’s license to see how old you are.
Your pets are the only things you’re emotionally connected to.
You can’t decide which you would rather endure- nightmares or no sleep at all.
All your stories begin with “I may have told you this already but…”
You see an insignificant object (ash tray, etc.), hear a certain song, or drive by a specific place and you have an intense flashback and people look at you like YOU are the crazy one who brought this all on yourself.
Someone threatens you because you’ve been staring at them for 10 minutes - but really, you were just dissociating.
You avoid TV shows based on whether they may trigger you or not.
You have had more fucking conversations in your head then with real people.
You refer to flashbacks as “daymares”
Every dream has some sort of struggle, violence, or death…. as if life wasn’t enough.
This second, and final one is from Damian, tonight. I'll just assume he wouldn't mind me posting this in my Livejournal! I should really print these both out and put them in a scrapbook or my diary!
Interesting how they both come from men, in the end. I can distrust the gender of men all I want, but they never fail to surprise me.